The Starting Gun Is In Your Hand

Julia Jacklin is messing with my head.

Did you forget the starting gun is in your hand?

Yes, Julia Jacklin. I forgot! I completely forgot! I was waiting for someone to hand it to me, to tell me how to pull the trigger and where the bull’s eye is, and whether or not to bring those thingies that block out the noise. I was ill-prepared for it all. I wished for a shoot-out, because I thought that’s what I needed to be truly ready for the noise of it all. I thought it would only be okay with a bullet wound or two. I thought the horses should gallop past, lose me in their midst, and wait a while before calling for help. I thought this was the Derby, and I was the lost horseshoe that you found on the track before you wrote this song. I thought it was all wrong. I thought I was all wrong.